When life gets really busy or things get really tough I get really grumpy. Basically anything can trigger my ugly side; being late, friends borrowing my clothes, my mom asking me too many questions, my boyfriends awful driving, not getting enough sleep and the list goes on and on. Recently, I have found myself excusing these bad days saying things like,
“Ughhh its just one of those days”
I so easily get stuck in this rut of being upset and just can't seem to find my way out of it. Actually no, I don’t look to find a way out of it. Never once in those crazy days or moments do I take a minute, a deep breath of the Sprit, and redirect my thoughts and actions. Instead, I find myself accepting and basking in this frustration.
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” //Galatians 5:22-23
This past month,at the church I work for, we have been going through the fruits of the Spirit in Sunday school. I feel like one of the little kids revisiting the simple act of love and patience, things that you would think I would know by now, but have seemed to have a lot of trouble with. One of the things that the teacher has been emphasizing is to remember that the fruits of the Spirit are truly character traits coming directly from the Spirit and not our own doing. It is something you have to ask for and something we really need help with.
I sit there in Sunday school just completely dumbfounded. I have been trying for so long to produce these fruits on my own. I try to be patient but end up being frustrated, I try to be loving but end up gossiping, I try to be joyful but end up empty. I try and try and try. I don’t ask because I think I can do it on my own. But wouldn’t my days look so much different if I just asked for some help and intentionally walked in the Spirit every day. Excusing a day to be a bad day is no excuse for Christ. We are called to be present. To show up each day ready for where it will take you or how He will use you.
I have learned that Christ doesn’t give any sort of excused absents, He expects you to be present from the moment you wake up to the time you fall asleep. Even if it’s a really hard day, He wants to walk through it with you. Even if you are getting a really bad grade in school, He can help. Even if your really upset with your parents, He wants to show you love. No matter the day, He is living in it.
“Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives” // Galatians 5:25
When my sister decides to throw all my clothes on the floor I choose to love her. When my friend asks to move all her stuff in my little tiny room for a month, I will be patient. When I am really stressed with finals, I will be joyful. I want to allow the Spirit to move inside me, to lead my thoughts, to lead my actions, and my every day.