"8 Reasons Why I Appreciate My Female Friendships"

  1. The highest highs and the lowest lows | Having women in my life who listen intently and share vulnerably has been an immense blessing. I’ve learned that life will only go as deep as your willing to go and having sisters who encourage depth has made life richer. The bonds that form amidst life’s uncertain and scary moments are really amazing. 
  2. A three chord strand is not easily broken | Life comes at you hard sometimes but having a solid support system allows you to glean from those around you and seek Godly wisdom. Life is not meant to be done on our own - God has given us the desire to connect and relate so that we can sharpen one another and fight for each other’s holiness. Women of all ages fighting on behalf of other women and standing up for each other is a truly beautiful thing. 
  3. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery | I once wore the same dress as my friend to a homecoming dance in high school. Rather than being upset or embarrassed, I embraced our sameness and even felt encouraged that my friend and I shared a similar taste in fashion. I am inspired by my female friends in the way they dress, the music they love, the art they collect- we show our appreciation for one another when we imitate one another so laugh and enjoy it when it happens. 
  4. Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words are just as powerful | As women, we have tremendous influence in the lives around us; what we say can often have just as big an effect on others as what we do. We can use that influence to damage or to exhort the women in our lives. My sisters challenge me to choose kind and affirming words rather than disparaging words. These relationships are a great playing field where I can safely practice speaking gently and with conviction, knowing that my friends will speak with kindness to me also. 
  5. “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love” -  Brené Brown | Not only can I practice speaking kindly to other women, but I can also practice my own self-talk. I’m so quick to engage is self-deprecation but my friends remind me to speak gently to myself, even when I feel I don’t deserve it. This isn’t something that comes easy for me, and my close friends know this. So when they see me start to spiral into my own personal pity party, they know to help me by speaking words of truth over me; Jesus sees you and knows you differently than you see and know yourself in this moment. It hurts him to see you, his own creation, damage herself with harmful words. The community around you, if you allow them to know you, can be a support system, helping you to navigate the sin patterns in your life and ultimately surrender them to Jesus. 
  6. Sharing is caring | My clothes, my books, my music, they’re up for grabs. My lady friends and I share closets, swap clothes, trade books and albums. Just another nice perk for having close female friendships. 
  7. No boundaries, no pressure | I can talk to my girlfriends without fear of crossing boundaries or adding pressure on our relationship. There’s a serious openness and sometimes brutal honesty that takes place in our conversations that doesn’t always happen in my male friendships. 
  8. Defying gravity | My friendships with women defy the cultural myth that all female friendships are wrought with judgement, comparison, and cat fights. Of course, my friendships are not perfect; sometimes there are disagreements, my pride takes a hit, or I say something I regret. When those things happen, I want to be the kind of person who owns up and seeks forgiveness and reconciliation. If we are to be women of depth, we must approach our female friendships with the same amount of respect and compassion as we would want to be treated with. 

- Vanessa 

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