Throughout my life, I have been rejected from more things than I can count; to be honest, I think I’ve been rejected more than I have been accepted to things. For me, rejection truly strikes at the core; it makes me question myself and my abilities to no end, as I start to believe the lies that the enemy often tries to engrain into my mind. In the past, rejection has made me feel hurt, insignificant, lowly, and the list continues and continues--and, honestly, I start to believe these things about myself: that I am not competent enough, that I am not beautiful enough, that I am simply a chameleon--invisible to others. Somedays, I believe these lies and feel like such an insignificant being. But, recently, I’ve learned the value in rejection.
Through rejection, I have found where I truly belong and in whom I truly find my identity: Jesus Christ. Last semester was inundated with a plethora of rejections. Nonetheless, after a series of “no’s,” I randomly, but gloriously stumbled upon one of the greatest acceptances I have acquired in quite awhile.
Let me explain.
Last semester, I remember sitting at my then internship wishing that I was anywhere but there; I realized that what I was doing was not fulfilling to me--public relations is simply not my thing. I was incredibly grateful for the opportunity to expand upon my various talents within fashion and film at the agency and add valuable competence to my resume, but I yearned for something more--something that would make me feel as though I actually had a purpose and was adding value to God’s Kingdom. I cried at my desk, wishing that something, just something would happen--I didn’t know what I wanted, but I just needed something. Have you ever been here?
I was stir crazy that day, and so I started reading that day’s Jesus Calling for some encouragement. The message was uplifting; it highlighted boldness and the importance of taking risks for Christ. Okay, how am I going to bold, I thought to myself? What is Jesus trying to tell me?
I then remembered that I had been given a contact email to a prominent film agency in Beverly Hills by my university's President over the summer, when I studied in London and took one of his political science classes. On a side note, President Andrew Benton is one of the greatest university presidents in history.
I fiddled through my notes and found the contact email stuck on a random pink sticky note. I emailed the lady on the note, and prayed to God that something would happen within the next hour. I just needed something. I needed to feel as though I had a purpose, as I had really been feeling purposeless over the entirety of last semester.
I went out for coffee right after I sent that email. I got a chai tea latte, hoping that it would make me feel better about myself--my coffee drink go-to. I came back within thirty minutes, and, there, in my email, was a return email.
In my head, I screamed. Like what?! They reached back already? I quickly emailed the contact back, and we then scheduled an interview.
I went through a series of phone interviews--three to be exact. After each one, I waited in anticipation, and I checked my email frequently, wondering whether or not I had gotten the job. Ironically--or maybe not--my interviewees were Pepperdine alum, of whom I knew from random external instances. Additionally, President Andrew Benton wrote me the loveliest of recommendations.
After a week from my initial email contact, I was sent the greatest email I have ever received. I got the job.
Reflecting: If I had not applied to Pepperdine nor gotten the needed financial aid to attend the university, I would never have been in California to explore this option. If I had not studied in London this past summer, I would never have received that contact information from President Benton. If I had not been rejected from everything else in which I tried to get involved last semester, I would never have even looked into this incredible opportunity, as I would have been too busy to do so. If I had interviewed with other individuals at the film agency, I am not sure that I would have gotten the job.
God truly showed me He was in control throughout this process.
God provided. In a moment of weakness, I turned to Him to provide. Additionally, I needed to have gone through a series of “no’s” in order to receive this “yes”--a “yes” for which I am incredibly grateful and made me cry for like three days. This “yes” means more to me than any of the other things in which I tried to get involved or do.
Today, I am working at MGM, and love, love, LOVE the work that I am doing. I actually work in the Christian division of MGM, a new section of the company that recently started. Ironic? No--because it was meant to be, as God’s hand was seen throughout this entire process.
It is very evident to me that I am supposed to be here in my new position. I feel as though I am doing the work of God within an industry that sometimes does not promote such messages.
I can’t wait to see where this opportunity leads me, as I finally feel as though I have found what I am supposed to be doing. I love the entertainment industry, as I feel as though it is a wonderful platform to encourage and spread the Gospel.
Who knows where this opportunity will lead me?! What I do know is that God turned my series of “no’s” into a wonderful, fulfilling “yes.” As hard as it can be sometimes, know that God closes certain doors to open up a door that maybe you never could have imagined existed. I know--for me--this has certainly been the case. I am still healing and mending from various “no’s” that I’ve received, but I do think that God has greater and more “yes’s” in my future. He has wonderful “yes’s” for you too, if you trust Him with everything you have. Sometimes--like me--trusting in Him is the only thing that you can do--as it is the only thing left to do. In a weak and lowly moment and through the amalgamation of tears, I turned to Him for guidance. An He provided, as He always does. My brother recently told me to keep my head up high as, “Rejection is not failure; it’s just realigning you to your greater purpose.”
Caroline // @carolineanisa