Summer is officially upon us. The season of adventure and saltwater. The season of late nights and early mornings. The season of sunshine and tan lines. For some of us, this summer may also bring us a summer fling.
Last summer I fell for my summer fling, hard. Our first date was at Olive Garden and we had a real connection. He continued to call me and ask me to hangout, even though I usually shot him down and refused to save his number. Eventually he wore me down, and we went on another spectacular date and camping with his family.
Despite the briefness and the fact this happened a full year ago I still think about that boy. Pining over a boy I haven't spoken to in a year sometimes makes me feel a little pathetic. I cut myself slack by telling myself your summer fling in college can be the hardest type of relationship to get over. There's no reason you guys ended, other than time and distance, so you never get any real closure.
I used this logic to justify thinking about this boy all year long. Until I realized it's not the actual boy I miss, but the idea of him. He's the only boy I've ever believed genuinely thinks I'm pretty, thinks I'm funny and who I could eat whatever I wanted in front of without feeling judged.
But, as I move onto a new summer, I realize I don't even need that. I don't need a boy who thinks I'm pretty when I have a God who thinks I'm beautiful. I don't need a boy who thinks I'm funny when I have a God who thinks I'm hilarious. I don't need a boy I can eat whatever in front of when I have a God who has witnessed all my caloric binges and still never judged me. I don't need a boy to pursue me romantically when I act uninterested when I have a God who pursues me no matter how deeply I sin.
Audrey // @audrey_huddleston