When Everyone Keeps Asking You About Your Love Life
One of my dearest friendships in college has been my friend since I was in eighth grade. It all started when I got to interview a war veteran. The only war veteran I knew was my great uncle. Unfortunately, he lived in Virginia at the time. I did not. One Friday afternoon, my dad, brother and I found ourselves in a house of a man we had never met. We were recording him and asking him questions about the war. Since then, he has been asking me about guys and if I am dating them or shoo-ing them off. Oh, did I mention he is currently 92?
It all started with the joke: “I bet your dad has to tell all the boys to stop knocking on your door.” I was humored but unaware that within ten years our friendship would tremendously grow. I would visit him and his wife regularly. He would keep asking me about guys. If I didn’t visit them for a couple of weeks, he would ask me if a guy had taken my visiting time.
I ended up going out of the country for a bit. He didn’t tell me but he was apparently praying intently for me to be dating someone. I came back. He was sad that I wasn’t dating anyone.
“Kristin, I haven’t prayed for anyone in a long time like I prayed for you. I was so sure.” I went back to this country. He was hopeful. I came back. He didn’t understand.
Several months later his wife passed away. The memorial service was on his birthday. I wrote him a birthday letter and a few days later he came to me and said, “I’ve been trying to figure out how to respond to your marriage proposal… you know my wife just died.” I rolled my eyes. (I always roll my eyes).
One day I came to the realization that in my dear elderly friend’s mind, I’m several years behind. As it relates to my age, he would have been married for 3 years. I know I could not have been properly married three years ago. Let’s be real. I could not be properly married the day this blog post goes up. You see, I love this man. I just have quite a few elderly people looking at me like I need help. I mean, I probably do need help, but in a plethora of things…not just relationships.
Regardless, there are loads of young marriages where I live. I mean LOADS. There are women who told me they are getting a ring by spring. One woman even pulled me aside and said she was only at college for a M-R-S degree. Friend. I didn’t know what these things were! I was clueless. No one had ever told me!
In no way am I knocking young marriages or engagements. I think they’re wonderful. I have many friends who are living in this reality. I just realized if I lived outside of the Bible belt, there would not be this constant ambush to be married so young. I guess the thought is: you’re young and serving the Lord so get married! If that happens, cool. If not, still cool.
I’ve come to understand my life’s purpose doesn’t begin and end as a wife. It was decided before the foundations of the world were spoken into existence. It was decided before my parents were a thought in my grandparents’ minds.
There was a moment when Jesus was on the cross and said, “Tetelestai (it is finished).” Thousands of years later I found myself in a state of finally surrendering to the Lord, I’ve experienced a new sense of purpose. My purpose is going to look slightly different from yours and that’s okay. Romans 11:29 is one of my favorite verses. It reads, “The gifts and calling of the Lord are irrevocable.” No one can take away the gifts the Lord has given and the calling (or divine purpose) for your life. At the end of the day, we are called to fear (reverence) the Lord and keep His commandments. We do this in how we love Him and those around us.
My point in writing this is: I hope you not only found this post somewhat amusing but that it encourages you. You’re not the only person being asked tons of questions about your dating life. Although, I might be the only one having a 92-year-old man asking.
Kristin Witcher // @kristinmwitcher