How do you unlearn something that seems to have been with you your whole life?
Ever since I can remember, I have been somewhat of a people pleaser. Chasing the approval of my parents, teachers, peers and formulating my life according to how I thought other people wanted me to live.
It’s easy to get lost in the world around us and lose sense of who we are, whose we are.
I find myself in this cycle of remembering and then forgetting. Constantly fighting for truth and who I am.
I was recently with a group of friends who made me feel intense pressure to go out and party. It’s so tough to say no because my soul longs for the affirmation and love of these people.
I want others to approve of me; I want the people I see in class, in clubs, on campus to see me and to give me their stamp of approval.
But I cannot base my life off of the feelings of other people; we cannot construct our identities for the sake of others.
That is when we begin to wither away and the passions and fire that God has created within us start to seem like they are disappearing.
When I start to form myself around the likings of others, I lose who God made me to be.
Women, you are enough as you are. You do not need to change to be loved by someone, you shouldn’t have to feel guilty for being yourself.
It’s so so hard to turn away from the approval of others because it is such a tangible way to receive love.
But let me tell you. Sitting here and knowing that I am making decisions to live the life God wants me to live, rather than the life other people want me to live is extremely freeing.
Esther was a courageous bible character who faced extreme danger to free her people. She got to a point in which she said, “If I perish, I perish.”
I have realized that it is time for me to be courageous and have my own rendition of that.
“If I’m rejected, I’m rejected.”
Jesus teaches us to love ourselves, and to find love and acceptance and freedom in God alone.
-Madi Wiese // @madiwiese