After about the third time checking Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, I knew it was time to check my grades. As I sat there hoping the Wi-Fi would go out, more anxiety came over me but I knew I had to finally face them. I opened my laptop, and in that moment, it seemed as though the webpage took an eternity to load. I sat there thinking how frustrating it is to put a percentage or a letter grade on your worth and to have that 93% or 67% tell you who you are. I then started thinking about my day and my week and suddenly I was thinking about the past year. I glanced up and saw my bible and thought, what percentage of God’s love do I deserve? 

I really thought about it and then I realized that I deserve 0% of his love. I am a sinner. I lie. I gossip. I forget to pray. I get angry with people. I get jealous. I don’t always love people the way I should. I don’t feed the hungry or clothe the naked. I often ignore people in need and I hold grudges. I choose sin over Christ and I fail Him daily. 

I failed Him after He died on the cross for me. My sins stuck nails in His feet and His hands and nailed Him to that cross. He conquered sin and death for me, but I still choose sin every day. So yes, I deserve a 0% on the “gradebook” of Christ’s love. 

But is that what God gives me? If everyday life were my assignments, tests, and quizzes, sin would cause me to fail. But that is not how our heavenly Father works – I don’t get what I deserve, I am gifted with more than I can even fathom. 

We cannot put a grade, or a label, or a definition on God’s love, because it is something our earthly minds cannot comprehend. We cannot fully understand His individual love for each of us, or how if He were to stop thinking about one of us for even for a second, we would cease to exist. Think about it: our life itself relies on God’s love for us. So, next time we sin and cannot imagine how God could love someone who rebels against Him, we need to remember that our existence resides in His immense love.  

God doesn’t just love. He is love. His very essence and being is love. We were made to know and love God. 

He would create the universe again just to hear you say, "I love You."

When Jesus walked to Calvary with open wounds all over His body, carrying a heavy cross, and wearing thorns on His head, He knew I was going to sin. He knew I would choose Satan over Him even though Satan offers me nothing and Christ offers me everything. He knew all of this, yet He died for me. He brutally suffered for me…and for you.

We choose this sin and emptiness even though there is a heavenly banquet of goodness and fruit waiting for us. We need to choose the fruit. We need to choose this unfathomable love that created the universe. We need to choose God because without Him we are nothing. 

-Hallie Ruth // @ruthhallie