Finding The Words

What do you do when you can’t find the words?

I sat down to write this, wondering what to say. It’s been a quiet season of faith. It’s been several weeks now of change and trying to figure out exactly what God is trying to teach me when things more often than not feel messy and chaotic.

It’s so easy to get prideful in moments when we’re close to God. When His will and voice loudly resonate in our hearts, it’s easy to think it’s because of something that we’re doing, something that’s in our control. 

In this quiet season, I’ve been asking God for words, for His words, to speak truth and peace into my heart, and they haven’t been arriving as clearly and vividly as before. This has made me feel somewhat left behind and inferior. I look at those in my community flourishing in their faith, and I question why I’m not there at this time. 

We live in a world that tells us to always have the answers, to have our next steps calculated, to live from a place of doing and accomplishing. We also live in a noisy world, where our grandest moments are highlighted on the stage of social media and other platforms, where it’s easy to compare what appears to be the lack of God in our lives to the abundance of Him in others’. It’s a vicious cycle, but here is what I’m learning:

It’s okay to not have the words.

There is still purpose and blessing in the quiet seasons. God is still working, even if the evidence isn’t blazing through. God still offers His whole heart, and He still holds nothing back from His children, even when He’s a little more silent than usual. There’s still something to be learned.

It’s easy to complicate things in times when we feel as if we aren’t close to God. I often find myself scrambling to find the answers and the purpose, taking in so much at once that nothing can truly resonate.

Recently, I was reading Psalms and thinking about the difficulty of hearing God’s voice lately when this verse so clearly stood out to me:

Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.
Psalm 84:12

It’s a tiny verse, and it struck me with its simplicity. This verse acknowledges the Lord as Almighty, as the One Who is in control. It reminded me that God is holding this quiet season so closely to His heart. This miniscule, almost unnoticeable sentence in Psalm 84 calls us blessed if we continue trusting in Him. That’s powerful.

I always think that trusting God is too cheesy or simple, but we serve the God Who breathes stars into being, Who defeats death, Who is still singing His song of love, even if we’re fighting to hear it.

Then I backtracked and read the verse right above it:

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
Psalm 84:11

This verse exemplifies beautiful characteristics of Who God is. He is light, bringing new awareness of Himself at the darkest times. He is a refuge, a solid place we can go when our hearts get weary. He bestows favor and honor, and He offers us abundance. BUT! We have to keep seeking Him.

This quiet season is calling me out of a place of complacency and is teaching me a new sense of expectation of God. Expectation that He is still on the move, that as I continue trusting Him and embracing this season of stillness, He is working in my heart in a different way than before. That even if I don’t know exactly how He’s speaking, I serve the Creator of the universe Who is still extending His hand and heart. That He’s still offering me the gift of Himself.

It’s okay to not have the words, but don’t stop expecting that God is on the edge of His seat, about to rock your world in ways He never has before, both in the quiet seasons and at the proper time when He brings you out of this valley. Don’t give in to defeat. Keep trusting.

This season has value. You are valuable to Christ, always.

-Sydney Hornsby // @sydney_hornsby