Closing Chapters

There is almost nothing more satisfying than finishing a chapter of a book that has sucked you into its pages. You eat up the words like a bowl of ice cream and apple pie, swallowing them like they’re on a conveyor belt and you’re still hungry for more. You scan the lines and paragraphs, and fall in love with its characters and its story.

And then you reach the end. Distraught, you have to wait some length of time before you can read the sequel. Excited and full of ideas, you dream about what the next story could (and should) be.

My life is a lot like reading a book.

Today, my delighted-in friends, if I could embody an emoji, would be the praise hands. I want to invite you to rejoice with me.

If you have followed any parts of my story, lately, it’s just been hard. It’s been one thing after the other. No rest for the weary. Change is a tornado that threatens to wreck the foundation of everything you built your life and expectations on. I used to dread it. But He’s teaching me to allow the winds of change to lift me above the storm clouds— to be closer to Him.

You see, not even a week ago, I heard a chapter of my life close. Call it what you will, but I believe it was a real, supernatural, Holy Spirit moment laced into a normal conversation. Two friends reunited after months spent apart. Joy spoken, laughter echoed on walls and testimonies told across kitchen counters. Hope-words of anticipation strung in sentences and some not-so-pretty emotions were put into honest syllables.

The sun swings high in the sky, yeah, and I’m swirling in a love-dance with my God-king because I heard this year and a half-long chapter close shut with one, final slam.

For so long, the hurt and the healing just felt the same— I couldn’t tell the difference. It was raw and ugly and I didn’t have a blueprint for how to rebuild a life.

And months went by, Summer turned into Winter and the year changed its numeral. I decided to look back a few days ago. And I saw something that was impossible to see until now:

Timing is everything.

His timing is absolutely everything.

Ecclesiastes 3 ringing loud and true.

I whispered up a prayer as I walked towards home in spring weather and a spring in my step—it went a little like this: “Lord, when I cut soul ties, I give myself space. To mourn. To grief. To pick up the pieces. And then I’ve done everything I can. I give it to You and I don’t know what You do… I can’t put it into words. But You heal. You make me whole. You’ve made me new. Thank You for continuing to graciously and patiently teach me: everything is made perfect in Your time.”

His timing is everything.

Yeah, anxiety still tries to riddle me down with its fear-inducing gaze, telling me things will be different. It doesn’t penetrate. Doubt and distrust of the future still try to weave themselves into the fabric of my relationship with my heavenly Daddy. But they can’t separate our bond.

Our God is higher. Mightier. Stronger.

Our God closes chapters.

He is writing a new storyline in your ever-unfolding story of beauty and God-love.

You are exactly where you need to be.

You are not stuck reading the last chapters of your life, reciting them over and over again, telling yourself this is who you are.

You are walking forward, in Jesus' name.

There is so much more to your story than you ever thought.

So many praise hand emojiis.

-Christine Vezarov // @thisbechristine