Still Learning

Every time I sit down and face an empty Word document on the screen of my laptop, I think it’ll hit me — the genius topic and words that will harmoniously come together to strike just the right cords in whoever stumbles upon my collection of thoughts.

And I become obsessed. 
Obsessed with saying the right things and,
obsessed with writing on the right topic that will attract the most people. 

I have lots of good ideas. They usually begin as a single sentence on a separate document and landing in a folder on my desktop. Sometimes they are developed, other times they sit dormant in the little blue folder in the far right corner of the screen. And, like clockwork, when it’s time for me to write, I mosey on over to those lonely topics and give them a read, begging the question, “which one of you will make me sound like I actually know what I’m talking about?”

Because the truth is: I don’t.

I’m still learning. And, as much as I try to convince myself otherwise, I’ll always be learning. 

The truth is: by the standards of the world, I’m not good enough to be a Christian. I don’t wear the right clothes or own enough pairs of Chacos. I don’t always follow Jesus or remember to live my life through the lens of eternity.

I’m still learning, and I’m going to continually be unequipped for the next season looming on the horizon. Because the more I learn, the more I have to learn.

The mystery of this unending cycle of growth lies in the truth that God’s love is not a pampering love — it’s a perfecting love. How could it be easy when His ultimate desire is to refine us to be more like Him? 

I am not always promised readers. I am not promised success. I am not promised glory, money or popularity. But the fruit of following Christ is in the continued commitment to learn.

So, press on. Join hands with your friend, your enemy, and fellow sister — and RUN! Run, and don’t you dare look back. You are headed on an enthralling, adventurous, and marvelous path toward victory! You just need to learn some things along the way. 

High and humble King,
Thank You for Your patience.
Thank You for Your power.
Thank You for Your purpose.
I pray that we may be open to Your teaching,
That we may become excited to learn,
And that we may be confident to trust in Your perfect plan.

-Erin Cosgrove // @e_coz