When We Are Drowning In Judgement

I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t been a very good Christian lately. I don’t pray enough, or volunteer and I had gotten to a point where I couldn’t remember the last time I had been inside a church. To rectify this, I reached out to one of my old friends and a leader from my old Bible study group. We made plans to go to church and out to lunch that following Sunday.

I don’t have my own car right now, so the night before I asked my dad if I could borrow his to go to church. He said yes. When I walked out the door that Sunday morning his car was gone. I was already running five minutes late and irritated. I called him and asked where he was. He told me he was at my mom’s house. My mom, who he divorced several months ago. I grew more irritated. How could they spend the night together when they are divorced? How could they forget they had made a promise to me? Why were they acting like that was okay?

I ended the call and requested an Uber. In the back of the Uber I felt like I should pray, but was too stressed and hurt to do it. Instead, I just stared out the window thinking “my faith will be reinforced if today’s service helps me through my struggle with my parents. If today’s service helps me through my struggle with my parents then I will know God is real.”

That Sunday, the preacher talked about how we break ourselves into separate groups. We become separate from those who struggle. We label them a “they” as we judge, when we should help them and become an “us.” We do it when we see homeless people and wonder why “they” won’t get a job, when we could become an “us” by offering them food. We do it when we see someone who is sick and wonder why “they” didn’t take better care of themselves, instead of becoming an “us” by helping them with housework. There are so many times we turn down an opportunity to help because we are drowning in judgment and that is exactly what I was doing with my parents. God was telling me to stop wondering why “they” were being so weird and irresponsible, and to start wondering what I can do to make “us” the happiest family possible.


Audrey // @audrey_huddleston